Ever ordered something at a restaurant and instantly regretted it the second it hit the table?
Yeah, we’ve all been there—staring down a soggy salad or flavorless entrée wondering why we didn’t just stick with the fries.
Dining out is supposed to be a little slice of happiness, not a crash course in culinary betrayal. But between flashy menu buzzwords and overly enthusiastic waitstaff, it’s easy to get duped into ordering something that sounds like a dream and tastes like disappointment.
That’s why we’re stepping in to save your tastebuds (and your wallet) with a breakdown of what to avoid like that ex who still views your Instagram stories— and what to say a big delicious yes to instead.
From sketchy seafood to house-made showstoppers, here’s your ultimate cheat sheet of what’s hot, what’s not, and what’ll have you licking the plate clean.
1. The “Special” (If It’s Super Vague)
When the menu lists a “special” with little explanation, caution should be your guide. Often, these dishes are a clever disguise for leftover ingredients.
Chefs use the term “special” to recycle unsold inventory, adding a sauce or two to freshen it up. While some specials are genuinely inventive, many are culinary mystery boxes. Without a clear description, you risk ending up with a dish that might have seen better days.
Yesterday’s salad could become today’s soup; sautéed vegetables morph into an unexpected stir-fry. If the server can’t enlighten you on its ingredients or preparation, consider it a red flag. Instead, opt for something whose recipe is transparent and straightforward.
2. Anything with Iceberg Lettuce
The crunch of iceberg lettuce might be satisfying, but nutritionally speaking, it’s mostly just water. Salad lovers, beware—this leafy green offers little more than texture.
Its crispness is a facade, masking the fact that it’s devoid of the vitamins and minerals found in darker greens like spinach or kale. Restaurants often use iceberg because it’s cheap and lasts longer than its more nutritious cousins.
It’s the filler that bulks up your salad without adding any health benefits. When ordering, opt for salads that feature arugula, mixed greens, or romaine for a richer source of nutrients and flavor. Your taste buds will thank you, and so will your body.
3. Raw Oysters at a Sketchy Spot
Slurping down raw oysters is an experience many seafood lovers relish, but only when the conditions are right.
Eating them from a dubious source is like playing culinary roulette. Oysters filter large volumes of water, and any pollutants or bacteria present in their environment can end up in your shell.
It’s essential to trust the establishment’s commitment to freshness and quality. A sketchy spot might cut corners, risking a seafood fiasco. The last thing you want is spending the night regretting your adventurous spirit.
Find a venue known for its seafood, where they pride themselves on the freshest catch. If in doubt, skip the shells and opt for a cooked alternative.
4. Fettuccine Alfredo (at Chain Restaurants)
Pasta drenched in creamy Alfredo sauce can spell comfort on a plate, yet chain restaurants often miss the mark. What you get is usually a microwaved, clunky version of what’s supposed to be a rich and delicate Italian dish.
The sauce, a heavy mix of cream and butter, can sit like a rock in your stomach. Chains may cut corners with quality, using pre-made sauces that lack the fresh taste you’d expect from a homemade version.
For a true Alfredo experience, you’re better off crafting it at home with quality ingredients. When dining out, look for pasta dishes made with house-made sauce instead, offering a fresher taste.
5. Well-Done Steak
Transforming a steak into a well-done slab is akin to culinary blasphemy. Cooking it to this extent leaches away its natural juices, leaving behind a dry, flavorless chunk.
The beauty of a steak lies in its tender, juicy interior, something lost when cooked to oblivion. The appeal of ordering a well-done steak is understandable for those wary of pink meat. However, it’s important to remember that a steak should be savored, not merely chewed.
For steak aficionados, medium-rare is often the sweet spot, offering a balance of seared exterior and tender interior. Next time, embrace the juiciness of a perfectly cooked cut.
6. Fish on a Monday
Ordering fish on a Monday can often lead to disappointment. As the late chef Anthony Bourdain famously advised, most restaurants receive their seafood shipments on Thursdays. By the time Monday rolls around, you might be confronted with fish that’s past its prime.
The freshness of seafood is paramount to its flavor and safety, and Monday’s catch could be a gamble. While some upscale establishments may source fresh fish daily, many don’t. To avoid a less-than-stellar seafood experience, stick to meats or vegetarian options.
When craving the ocean’s bounty, visit your favorite seafood spot later in the week for the best catch.
7. Bread Basket (If You’re Paying for It)
Bread baskets, a staple of table settings, should be complimentary, especially if they’re not house-made. Charging for a basket of cold, uninspiring bread feels like daylight robbery.
The allure of warm, freshly baked bread is undeniable, adding a comforting touch to any meal. However, if a restaurant decides to charge for it, the offering should be exceptional.
If you’re faced with a bill for mediocre rolls, it might be time to reconsider. Instead, spend that money on a starter that excites the palate. A gourmet appetizer or even a house salad can offer more satisfaction without the extra cost.
8. Overloaded Smoothies
Smoothies, marketed as health in a cup, can sometimes be deceptive. Overloaded with sherbet, syrup, and sweeteners, they disguise themselves as healthy when they’re essentially a dessert.
Chain juice bars and cafes might lure you with promises of fruit and veg blends, but sneak in sugary surprises. These calorie bombs can rival a milkshake in sweetness, which is far from the post-workout boost you intended.
For a truly revitalizing drink, seek out smoothies that use whole fruits and a splash of natural juice, or make them at home. Keep it simple and wholesome for a guilt-free refreshment.
9. Wagyu Burgers (Unless You’re at a Fancy Joint)
Turning luxury Wagyu beef into a burger seems like a culinary crime. The unique marbling and tenderness of Wagyu deserve to be savored, not hidden between buns.
Many establishments use the term “Wagyu” loosely, often blending it with regular beef to cut costs. What’s served may not be the premium experience one expects. If the restaurant isn’t known for its high-end offerings, this burger might just be a costly disappointment.
Save the Wagyu for a fine dining experience where it’s treated with the respect it deserves. Meanwhile, a classic burger with quality ground beef can be just as satisfying.
10. Anything You Can Easily Make at Home
Why pay restaurant prices for dishes like avocado toast when you can whip up the same at home? Simple breakfast items and quick snacks often come with a hefty markup once they’re on a restaurant menu.
While convenience is tempting, consider whether the dish requires culinary skill or unique ingredients. If it doesn’t, save your money for something you wouldn’t make yourself.
Opt for dishes that offer a new experience or technique, something that genuinely can’t be replicated in your kitchen.
Restaurants are about indulging in the extraordinary, not the everyday. Choose meals that surprise and delight.
1. Seasonal Specials (With Clear Ingredients)
Meals crafted from seasonal ingredients often burst with flavor, as produce at its peak can’t be beat.
When menus showcase seasonal specials with detailed descriptions, it’s usually a sign of a chef eager to impress. These dishes allow the freshest ingredients to shine, often locally sourced for maximum taste and minimal carbon footprint.
Seasonal items not only support local farms but also provide a chance to enjoy produce at its most flavorful. Dishes change with the seasons, offering a dynamic dining experience. Opting for these specials means you can savor the best of what each season offers.
2. Charcuterie Boards
Sharing a charcuterie board is a social experience, perfect for friends who savor the salty, tangy, and creamy. These boards offer a journey through diverse flavors, showcasing a mix of cured meats, artisan cheeses, and delightful accompaniments like olives and nuts.
For those who adore variety, it’s an ideal choice, providing bites of different textures and tastes. Not all boards are created equal, and the best feature quality products sourced from local suppliers. When done right, they transcend appetizers, becoming the main event.
Pair with a glass of wine for a truly indulgent moment. It’s a celebration on a board.
3. Tacos from a Place That Owns Tacos
Finding the perfect taco can be a culinary quest, best embarked upon at places that specialize in them. Authentic taquerías and Latin fusion spots are havens for flavor-packed bites.
These joints often boast recipes passed down through generations, offering a taste of tradition in every bite. Unlike generic eateries, they honor the taco’s heritage, presenting it with the respect it deserves.
When you bite into one of their creations, expect a burst of seasoned meat, fresh toppings, and handmade tortillas. The difference is palpable, creating a craving that only they can satisfy.
Dive into the world of authentic tacos.
4. The House-Made Pasta
Pasta made fresh in-house is a revelation for those accustomed to store-bought. The silky texture and delicate flavor are worlds apart from dried varieties.
House-made pasta absorbs sauces differently, creating a cohesive dish where every element sings in harmony. When a menu boasts house-made pasta, it’s an invitation to indulge in a labor of love.
Chefs take pride in their creations, often using family recipes passed down through generations. The experience is akin to enjoying a homemade meal in an Italian kitchen.
Choose these dishes to savor an authentic taste of Italy, lovingly crafted and bursting with flavor.
5. Wood-Fired Pizza
Nothing beats the allure of a wood-fired pizza, with its slightly charred crust and bubbling cheese. The intense heat of a wood-fired oven creates textures that a conventional oven can’t replicate.
Each bite offers a contrast of crunchy crust and melty toppings. Chefs skilled in this art form treat each pizza as a canvas, experimenting with unique combinations of fresh, quality ingredients.
Whether you prefer classic Margherita or adventurous flavors, a wood-fired pizza promises an unforgettable experience. It’s a testament to the magic of simple ingredients elevated through technique.
6. Shakshuka, Eggs Benedict, or Unique Brunch Options
Brunch is a time for culinary creativity, where traditional breakfast foods meet international flair. Dishes like shakshuka or eggs benedict are brunch staples that offer a delightful departure from scrambled eggs.
These plates require skillful preparation and a balance of flavors that elevate the brunch experience. A good brunch spot adds its twist, turning a simple dish into an unforgettable meal. Seek out cafes that offer unique, handcrafted brunch options, showcasing the chef’s creativity.
The result is a meal that not only satiates hunger but also tells a story of culinary imagination. It’s brunch taken to the next level.
7. Dessert That’s Made In-House
Desserts crafted in-house speak volumes about a restaurant’s dedication to quality. These sweet masterpieces are the perfect finale to a meal, often reflecting the chef’s creativity and attention to detail.
Unlike mass-produced sweets, in-house desserts surprise with their unique flavors and presentation. Whether it’s a decadent chocolate torte or a delicate fruit tart, these treats are worth the indulgence. A good restaurant takes pride in its desserts, ensuring each bite is a celebration of flavor.
When the menu features desserts made from scratch, it promises a sweet ending to your dining experience, one that lingers long after the last bite.
8. Grilled Whole Fish (From a Place Known for Seafood)
Grilled whole fish, cooked to perfection, showcases the art of seafood cooking. When sourced from a reputable place, it guarantees a fresh, flavorsome feast.
The whole fish presentation allows diners to savor the natural flavors enhanced by simple herbs and spices. Cooking it whole helps retain moisture, resulting in tender, flaky flesh. A reputable seafood restaurant often offers a Mediterranean twist, with olive oil, lemon, and fresh herbs elevating the dish.
It’s a celebration of simplicity, where quality ingredients and skilled preparation create a memorable meal. For seafood lovers, it’s a must-try that never disappoints.
9. Cocktails from a Mixologist Bar
A drink from a mixologist is more than a cocktail; it’s an experience. These bartenders are artists, transforming spirits into liquid masterpieces. Their creations often feature unexpected ingredients, offering a sensory journey that delights the palate.
Mixologists bring creativity and flair, crafting cocktails that are visually stunning and flavorfully complex. Whether you’re sipping a smoked old fashioned or a lavender-infused gin concoction, the experience is unforgettable.
Each drink is crafted with precision and passion, elevating the simple act of having a drink to an art form. Cheers to cocktails that are as memorable as the night itself.
10. Signature Dishes
When a menu boasts a signature dish, it’s the chef’s way of showcasing their culinary prowess. These creations often embody the essence of the restaurant, reflecting its philosophy and style.
Ordering a signature dish is an opportunity to experience the best of what the kitchen offers. Chefs pour their heart and soul into these plates, ensuring every element is perfected. It’s a culinary mic drop, designed to impress and leave a lasting impression.
From intricate flavor profiles to exquisite presentation, signature dishes are crafted to wow. For an unforgettable dining experience, trust the chef and go for the signature.
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